I awoke this morning in sheer agony stemming from my tummy. Apparently when you buy a bag of roasted and salted sunflowers, it’s not a good idea to eat the entire thing in a single sitting.m To which I ask, “but why”? In my experience with the animal kingdom food that are patterned want to get noticed. They want to be eaten. The stripes are really just nature’s Morse code saying “eat me! I’m delicious”!
Maybe, my stomach is like a hot dance club. If you put too few kernels in there it’s a pretty lame freaking party… but too many and its just uncomfortable. All the little kernels of yumminess were trying to get their dance on but I made it to crowded and they rebelled. Just my thoughts.
Any who, I love labels. Not labels like labeling people with faux hawks as desperate, or men driving Hummers as genuine a**holes. No, I mean something simpler than that. I’m saying paper with sticky sides, tabs that stick out of notebooks, the unabashed joy of giving something a name and purpose with the power that is my mighty permanent marker. Which bring me to the conclusion that in my current relationship, I need Mom labels.
You see, the great thing about being in a serious relationship is that you usually get to double up on a lot of things you have such as moms. The only problem is that all moms tend to have the same name, “Mom”. So Luis and I have trouble telling them apart. I could of course easily say,”your mom” versus “my mom” but that just sounds like I don’t want to take ownership of the mom in question. Why wouldn’t I? I mean I get great benefits like, gifts on birthdays and holidays, home cooked meals, cuddles! So I don’t really want to do that.
My solution is that one mother get labeled as “Mom” and another as “Mama”. I’m envisioning something along the lines of each mom wearing individual labels stating their new name until the family can adjust. Now the problem is how do we assign the names….. I propose a sort of gauntlet with rings of fire. But that’s just an idea. We could just pull names from a hat but that seems rather anti-climactic. Is there a game show about this already? maybe some where in Japan?